xxshatteredsoulxx

Kellie's jounal
2002-01-17 16:32:11 (UTC)

i've tried so hard....but in the end it doesn't even matter

as well as being a linkin
park song, it works...this
journal is going to be
updated almost every hour,
but i have a lot on my mind,
and it sucks! sometimes i just
feel so alone..i just want
something to go right for me
something good in the world,
i've always given so much, and
been brought down so hard, i
just don't understand why..
i understand i'm changing
as a person and that can
cause someone to have a
reaction to me...but i've
never made any bad choices,
i've always been the good person,
why can't i just be at peace,
and calm with my surroundings?
for the past 3 weeks i've
just wanted to walk away
from the world, nobody
understands why, i'm always
so depressed, and moody, well
i think you'd understand if the
one person you first loved basically
destroyed himself in your eyes,
you'd hurt too, and that sucks...
of course, i have found something to make
my life happier, but it is so
unreachable, because of my stupid
insecurities, i don't understand
why i have to be like this, i try
and try to make things good, i
do everything for people. i just
want to be loved...i want someone
to wake up and think about me, i
want to walk around with that
proud smile, i want someone who
will understand me...damn i just
want some guy that will call me..
once in a while to say 'hey
i'm thinking about you' i want to
celebrate a goddamn valentine's day
the right way..not by breaking
up, and i don't want to cry every
fucking day because i'm too worthless
to love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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