Lyric

The crazy little things i say....
2002-01-17 12:38:11 (UTC)

HE FLIRTED BACK

Ok i have been away for a little while now, when work
calls. Unfortunately my work forces me to travel, which is
fine, i can't complain but that means i cant be home. and
it means i have to miss my class. I know i have talked
before about the trainer that straddled me, etc etc...and i
also made the comment that i needed to talk about my dreams
about the other one. Well i have to do that now, before i
can share the big advancement, at least thats how isee it.

This guy is the first instructor that i just flipped over.
He is tall, probly about 6'3 - 6'4, and i guess a good
description would be ruggedly handsome. He's certainly not
a pretty boy. Been fighting and training others to fight
most all of his life. He's also one of the nicest and
enthusiastic trainers at my club. He's very quick to tell
anyone that they are doing great. etc. nice form,
awesome...but not only does he say it...he says it so loud
(booming voice) not really a yell, hes just so loud that
the entire class hears it and probly most of the people in
the building. The first time he did that to me it scared
the shit out of me, and i stopped what i was doing blushed
and tried to say thankyou.....ya know all people should
encourage other people so much. Its not just me. When he
does that, i work harder at it, becuz i want to hear im
doing a good job again. Its a basic human need. Everyone
needs someone to be proud of them. This about him is i
think his most attractive quality. Yes its true, the
personality is the most important part, contrary to popular
belief. Oh ill give ya this, yes YOU have to be attracted
to them, but i believe greatly that the personality is
really wether you are attracted to someone or not. Theres
nothing cute about an asshole. Of course what i consider
an asshole might be different from someone elses ideals.
Once again, i thank god prearranged marriages are a thing
of the past, at least in my family.
Blah blah blah....im going off on a tanget, back to the
point at hand. So like im telling you this guy, hes
tall...blah blah....and IM VERY attracted to him : ). If
that hadnt been obvious before now. I always know when i
really am, becuz i cant make a damn fukkin complete
sentence....and i think as i speak that everything im
saying is stupid, and that he must be thinking the same
thing and hes only talking to me becuz hes a nice guy and
hes just being nice....phew.....yep, when im thinking that
as im stuttering, i really like the guy. My wits
completely go on vacation. And i blush, and i never blush
or get embarrassed so if i do, yep there ya go.
So anyway when all this started i just thought oh its just
an infatuation...hes just a cute guy that smells reaaaallly
good. BUT, i couldnt get him out of my subconscious,
meaning i dreamt about him, reallllly dreamt about him.
Very vividly, also, which kind of confounded me becuz i
dont do that very often. Usually i have to hope and pray
and flood my mind with thoughts of the guy i wanted to
dream about right before i dozed off in hopes that i might
dream about him, and if i did it was never good. I guess
from trying to dream about them to hard, in my dreams, they
either didnt like me or they liked my friend. Or i just
could never catch up with them. You know i have a dream
book im going to look that up and see what the hell that
means. It probly means im a fukking freak that shouldnt be
typing an online diary..oh well..here goes

Chasing in a dream is a direct effect that you are pursuing
something in life or someone you want. but in my dream i
already had him...ok lets look again. They say when you
have a sense of being left behind, that you actually have
the sense of waking up to what you have not done or
experienced in life, thats interesting. Well that didnt
tell me jack shit. Fuck it...i dream about him im pretty
sure that means that i reallly like him...and i have wishes
for all that to really happen..jeez.
So anyway, i have all these dreams about him. He's gotten
to know me rather well...which is good for me, since now
that ive gotten more used to him, i can speak more
better : ) I still get very nervous, but ive gotten used
to the nervous feeling. SO anyway, yesterday, i had just
gotten done with a class, he had just got done training
one. and i was basically getting ready to leave...and he
came out and sat down in the waiting area and started
talking to me. so was another trainer, so it was really
easy banter just laughing, etc. nothin serious. But i
noticed a difference in him, he was a lot more attentive
than normal. Something came up about being sore and i was
saying i was too..and that on Saturday i was going to have
to get a massage. I dont really remember what he said but
it was to some effect of darn...oh i mean good....
(generally to the effect of someone saying...Oh i need to
get a massage, and the other person saying...Damn, i guess
ill have to give you one...ya know twist my arm).....of
course he didnt say all that...but it was in his tone, and
the facial expression he had...and also the fact that he
embarrassed himself becuz he didnt say it as a pun he
honestly said it and then caught himself...Well Ill tell
you something, im pretty good at flirting, becuz as soon,
as he said the shoot, my eyes got really big, im a female i
pick up on everything and i know my my expression had to
be "oh really, well i guess ill just have to let
you".....the eyes and tone of your voice speak
volumes...thats for damn sure. just gotta watch and
listen. So im so excited, becuz that is the first time hes
shown a direct interest, any other times hes shown it i
have missed it.
Well we left and god would i give anything to know what he
discussed with his friend as they were leaving after me and
my friends left. Of course i couldnt ask my friends for
confirmation on what happened, cuz they were
primping...typical girls!
Until next time
Lyric




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