Just a girl.

My So Called Life.
2002-01-16 23:03:54 (UTC)

Continuation of My Non Existing Love Life.

So Scottie the HOTTIE was now single, sexy, and FREE!
But I couldn't bring myself to confess the feelings I had
for him! Ugh! Whoa is me~! Now before this most people new
that I had a "thing" for him anyways and now that he was
single the RUMORS were up in the air. Everybody began
asking me if I wanted to go out with him, or if I liked
him. Of course, I DENIED EVERYTHING!!! My answer to most
things are to just ignore them and hope they go away. But
that wasn't enough, I didn't want him to find out so I
began to treat him like a co worker instead of a friend. I
stopped talking to him and initiating conversations with
him. It was kinda like a Kindergarden love, where I was
only mean to him just because I liked him. I was Helga and
he was Arnold, for all you Hey Arnold Cartoon fans.
So the whole time of me avoiding Scottie I thought that
our friendship must have meant NOTHING to him because he
never once said anything about my new behavior and after
awhile he just stopped conversation with me too. One Sunday
afternoon he looked at me and said, "You are never friendly
anymore!" And he began to talk about how it really hurt his
feelings that we didn't talk anymore and that he missed it.
I, of course, was SIKED! Maybe he did care, maybe we could
one day be something more!
But then, that Tues I discovered that monday he got
back with his x girlfriend! My heart sank into my stomache
and I could hardly breathe! I felt like singin that song,
you know............ONE IS THE LONELYEST NUMBERS THAT YOU
EVER DID SEE!!!!
So now, he's back with his girlfriend and I'm back to
playing BEST GIRL FRIEND! I still like him, but I wouldn't
give up my friendship with him for the world. And now that
I think back I'm not sure if I was confusing our good
friendship with more or not. I just wish once that I was
the girlfriend instead of the girl that's a friend. I'm
off! Miracris
P.S. I would love to hear from you all!




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