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2001-04-16 05:11:31 (UTC)

First Boyfriend

So yeah, I'm seventeen. And I'm just doing the whole first
boyfriend (yes, this also means first kiss) thing. And
it's weird. Yeah, I guess a first of anything should be
weird, but mine is an acceptional case. Why? Well,
my "boyfriend" is also my brothers best friend. Bri's at
college right now, so I'm not usre what's going to happen
when he gets home. Bri and I don't always get along, so
this should be interesting. That's the first problem. The
second is that my guy is 20. Now, maybe for most people,
three years isn't a big deal. Well, to me, it's big. I'm
still in highschool, and regardless of how much I hate
highschool, I still am trying to do the whole highschool
thing. So, why can't I just include him in my highschool
stuff? Well, he looks like he's about 30. Maybe older.
He's short, kinda stout, moustach, wears this weird (and
cute) little hat. Now, don't get me wrong. I like him as
much as anyone could possible like someone they have been
dating for 8 days. But (oh how I hate to say this) it's
weird being seen with him. Now, I'm not that good
looking. I'm kinda tall, 5'6'' maybe, in heels, long red
hair, blue eyes, not skinny but not fat, and I'm not the
kinda girl that guys stop to look at. So who the hell said
I have the right to be embarrased to be seen with some guy
who isn't the best looking think on the face of the earth?
EXPECIALLY after the last 5 years of complaining I've done
that I don't have a guy. I mean, he's the sweetest thing
ever, SUCH a gentleman, we have SOOO much fun together;
everything, and I can't get over the way he looks? I am SO
shallow. I never knew I was this shallow before. I could
kill myself! Talk about being utterly ridiculous! So those
are my problems; 1. I've never dated before so I'm really
nervous, 2. He's my brothers best friend, and 3. I'm a
concieted, stuck up, bitch.