This is me and how my life goes.
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2001-04-16 04:40:29 (UTC)


Dear Journal,
I'm back. It's Easter sunday and Easter is just about over.
It was a pretty good day. I was smiling a lot and really
happy. It's also my sisters birthday so that was cool also,
we went out to eat and to see a movie. I was doing ok until
me her and Alisha got into this discussion about our
parents and how proud they are of us, and I just broke down
crying. I mean I know how proud my parents are of me but
are they really?? I feel like my mom might be so
dissapointed in me after everything that has happened with
the whole David situation. I mean, I know she hated the
fact that I lied to her and that I went out that night and
things happened that she couldn't prevent. I hate that. I
also hate how much I feel like my friends are dissapointed
in me too. I have a friend we'll just call him "Ryan" I met
him sort of when I was 13. I met him over the net and we
have been talking for years. I'm not sure if he knows it
but he is one of my best friends. I can talk to him about
everything and I don't feel embarrased. For a very long
time after I told him what happned he didn't talk to me. I
can understand why anyone would be dissapointed in me and
that hurts me so much. I hate for people to be dissapointed
in me considering i'm very dissapointed in myself.I want to
make everyone I know and love very proud of me. I want them
to be proud to know me and love me. I can't believe i've
made so many bad mistakes in such a short time.