faiien angei

fickle pickle

me and tab were tlaking about corey today...

it's hard to beleive that it's been a year almost since i
became friends with him.

it kind of made me sad to remember all the good times i had
when he was out here...at that point in his life...we were
his best friends...i dont think i'll ever forget the time
we were in line at jack in the box, and out of nowhere he
asked us if we would still have been his friends if he
hadnt been of his status and wealth...when we told him we
didnt give a fuck about any of that shit...he started
crying and told us how happy he was to have found us as
friends and how much he loved us...that was the best moment
of our friendship...the first time he had truely let down
his gaurd and let us know how insecure he was...the first
and, subsequently the only time he ever whole heartedly
trusted us. the rest was a self-proclaimed facade to cover
up his misery...we had all grown to love his facade...but
after that moment, we all realized who he really was...and
grew to love the true him more than anything.
the saddest thing in the world is the fact that he has no
idea how much he touched us.
i feel really bad having said that i wanted them to lose
the award...
then i remember what he said in front of the boy...
maybe i'm wrong...maybe his insecure loving nature was the
facade...
it's kind of weird to have this whole mental coversation
with yourself...some of it typed bfore me...and knowing
where my doubts begin and end...and realize that i'm just a
confused individual...
i was so touched by the person...and now after writing
about how much i miss him, here i am doubting wether i knew
him at all...
i suppose since it's all in the past anyway...that i should
just remember it the way it happened to me and not over
analyze situations that can go my whole exsistance without
explanation...

i think i've made way to much of an effot on this entry.

no wonder guys find girls to be so confusing...
not even we understand ourselves.