time walker

Dragon grl
2002-01-16 03:00:41 (UTC)

You decide

Have you ever been asleep and have your own moans of pain
waking you up? Have you ever gone to bed to wake up still
crying? Do you need to take meds just to sleep. I wish in
many ways I could reach out for help. Talking to one person
has helped me to realize you can express your actual
thoughts in here. My problem is I'm afraid. I go around
acting like miss big and bad, That I don't take shit from
anyone.
I'm actually afraid. I'm afraid I lose all my friends. I'm
afrid I'll frighten new people by being to forward. I'm
always afraid I'll sound like that high school girl who
will pretend she knows everything and who people won't want
to be around.
That I'll never find someone to love who loves me in
return. I'm afraid these headaches will grow and grow until
I won't be able to move. That they'll wipe away who I am
And that I'll be one of those people that in ten years
everyone I hold dear will look through yearbooks and wonder
what ever happend to her. That I'll of the things I hold
myself proud of might as well not exsist. Becaus no one
really cares. I fear sleeping at night becaus thats another
day of my life I've wasted.
My one biggest fear is being alone. I sit in bed and hug
myself pretending it's someone that loves me rocking me
back and forth as they tell me I'll be okay this time of
hell will pass. That is worth living from day to day.




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