J

J's Journal
2002-01-16 01:44:39 (UTC)

this summer

Kevin said something today about wanting to know if I would
want to stay with him longer this summer...like the whole
rest of the time he would be there. He has to be back for
school at the end of the August so that would be like a
whole month and a half for us to be together. I really
want to. I can't wait for him to get here. He was talking
today about having a baby. I said something about wishing
someone around here would have one, and he said me. I said
no, not in the situation it was before, and he said I mean
You and Me. It's kinda scary cause I almost want to. I
was sorta thinking out loud today about if we got married
or something when we were down there, and how I thought mom
would kill me.....but,she said as happy as she knows he
makes me, she couldn't be mad at me for doing it. That is
such an exciting thought. I would say yes right now if he
asked me. It might seem crazy but I really love him. I
wish he would find out about this baby thing with Jasmine.
He hasn't said anything about it yet though. I dont think
it is his, and neither does he, but he was there for her
because that's the kind of guy he is. That's what I love
about him. I just hope it isn't because I wanted to share
all the feelings and excitment of having your first child
with him. He said it's hard for him, cuase he was the
first to hold the baby and everything and he went thru all
those emotions, and now he doesn't know if he wants to find
out or not. I know he will though, and no matter what it
wont change a thing about the way I feel. I couldn't stop
loving him because of a mistake he made in the past....he
didn't do that to me. I know he doesn't want to be with
her anyways cause he hates her. We have been together for
a week now, and it is so great. It's really no different
then before, but in some ways it feels like it is. I just
know I am so happy with him.




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