Tiger Dutchess21

The Tigers Lair
2002-01-15 16:56:53 (UTC)

Not so cool.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone
other than yourself just for a day? Like most people I too
have often fantisized about switching identies with someone
a little more perfect, a little more daring, and yes even a
little more flirtatous, but recently I have come to the
conclusion that if I am not happy being merely me then I
probably wont be happy being them either.

Life isnt so bad being me, but there are times when it
feels like the entire world wants me to be someone else,
and I feel the pressure to measure up to what it is they
want. I can only do so much to please people and in the
end I am not pleasing them I am only losing myself.

Have you ever had that one friend that you would do
anything in the world for and then one day out of nowhere
they decide to just drop you because they arent happy with
their life? I believe that to be the most selfish act
anyone can ever commit. I have this friend. We have been
friends for 3 years and we have times when we dont speak
but then when we do it is like nothing has changed. Lately
we have been speaking more and I have to say that this time
something HAS changed, although I cant put my finger on
it. He has been talking about just up and leaving and not
contacting anyone, but I dont think that is what he really
wants, I think he is looking for someone to ask him to
stay, and I would do it in a heart beat, but if he stays it
has to be for him not anyone else. This is almost an
impossible situation.

Other than all of these questions running through my mind
my life is going pretty well. I have a really great guy in
my life whom I love. I have really great friends, and I am
almost sure I am about to get this job I have been going
after. Wish me luck.