angryanymore

gracefully falling away

"she wrote the worlds i love you... and sprayed it with
perfume... it's better than the fire is to heat this lonely
room.. its warmer where you're waiting... it feels more
like july... "

- dashboard confessional.

today was ashley's funeral... they had it in the school
auditorum... ... it was pretty rough... lots of people who
knew her were there... but going to the funeral home worse
i think... it was open casket there... it wasn't at the
funeral... ... her face was swollen... and her hands were
kind of beat up... it wasn't ashley... she still looked
beautiful to me, though... ... i saw brad kendall after the
funeral...and we didn't say much... i just ran up to him
and he wrapped his arms around me and i cried... i miss
him... what happened to our friendship... ... ? i'll never
know.

keith handed me a burned c.d. today... with "just for you"
written on it in permanent marker... it's sweet... it has
lots of dashboard confessional on it... and modest mouse...
saves the day... lots of punk... ... but i hope he doesn't
think i'm going to go out with him... i can't
possibly. .... i'd like to be his friends... .......
perhaps he misses me... i like that feeling... to feel like
maybe someone you used to miss... misses you.. that's
nice...

david emailed me... he apologized for some of the stuff he
said... i haven't read his diary yet... i don't know what
it hold.. i don't know how he feels... he confuses me...
and i don't know where i stand... or how i'm supposed to
feel....

chip started school... and he's already breaking into
that "broke college student" mode... i feel bad for him.
but i can't wait until i'm in his position... not the
broke... but the college student position.... i suppose it
goes hand in hand, though. ______________ bless his heart.

erika saw rowdy for about 2 seconds the other nite. ...

i went over to emma's to see how she was... she seems
better... i'm glad... i hope she is...

kolby's got his new girlfriend, mandy, sleeping in his
bed... (what you expected me to say something
rude and out of the way about it... no way... i'm totally
leaving it at that.)

my cell phone keeps ringing.. oy yoy yoy...

*waits for it to ring again*

hmmm...

well... i suppose i'm off to bed... i'm tired... and i feel
weird... ... but i'm ok... i guess... not that ya'll care
enough to worry about my sleeping habits...

neeley