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The horrible class
I hate my class. It is so goddamn long, it drives me crazy
to have to sit and listen to someone talk for three hours
straight. We have one ten minute break where everyone goes
outside, and I felt like a weirdo, somehow I was like the
only one standing by myself. And there's only one cute
boy...but I think he thinks I'm kind of a freak...because
we all had to walk to this other classroom, but I got stuck
behind him. He was walking really slow so I had to walk
really slow right behind him, and everyone was passing me
so fast in comparison I couldn't really maneuver myself
into the other lane of traffic.
And then, as if there needs to be more, I was getting into
my car and I saw a guy walking, and I just looked to see if
maybe it was him, and I hit my head on the top of the car
door frame hard. Fuck. The guy saw it I think, but it
wasn't the cute one.
Plus one time in class I wanted to ask a question, so I had
my hand up for like three minutes. And that bastard teacher
saw me and would not stop going on and on. I couldn't just
put my hand down by that point, because it gone on too
long. So I had to say kind of loudly -excuse me, I have a
question- right over his voice. Which isn't a big deal but
on top of my loner, albeit close follower of cute boys
status, made me look even more weird.
This is why I hate being around people. Ugh.
And I really, really, really want to hear from Josh...phone
call, email, I don't care. He said he was going to call me
today and he never hasn't called when he said he would, but
it's 9:30. I miss him so much I can't put in into words.
If I had anyone at all here to hang out with, it would make
it so much better. I just want to talk, play cards, have a
But no, I'm all alone...*sniff sniff*...
Oh, and I broke down and bought some cigarettes last night.
Smoked a whole bunch and threw them away early this morning
before I went to sleep. No more, I mean it this time. I
sent Josh an e-mail asking if he wouldn't smoke around me,
I wonder if that bothered him and that's why he didn't call
yet. Oh well, I'll see.