Gothic Visions
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2002-01-15 07:27:57 (UTC)

Ugh, my life is a utter Hell.

Well here I am sitting on the computer at approxaminetly 1
o clock in the morning. In a few hours my mom will get up
to work and I will have to sneak in my bedroom so I won't
hear her complaining about how *I* screwed up the computer
*this* time. I am illiterate at the computer. I know, but I
am not as bad as SHE is.

On another topic...

Tomorrow Bryan should read my e-mail I wrote him. I hope he
doesn't think I'm too weird. Scaring him off isn't on my
list of things-to-do. I love that crazy Metalhead. Even if
he hates the fact that I'm a Gothic girl from Generation-
XxX..I know he loves me too : ). Philadelphia should be
fun. I really wanted him to be the first though. I guess I
blew that chance straight to Hell. Oh well. Ce'st LaVie!
(Bad with French)

I wish things with my molester/rapist whatever he is will
get in order. I hate him. I really do. Hate is such a
strong word, but this time I feel the rage burning in my
heart. I would kill him if it was legal. He is such a
little gremlin.

Anyways please away from that topic...

I had another non productive day. Life is so boring for me
since I don't have a job or a car. I have my dog
though. : ) All she does is lay down, bark, and go outside
to potty though. Not much of a companion dog. I love my dog
though, without her I'd kill myself.

My friend is driving me crazy. She keeps telling me that I
have potential, yet, that I'm too stupid to do anything
about getting a job. I hate that shit. Also she criticized
me for being a Gawff for the millionth time. Jesus, talk
about making steam come out of my ears. I was annoyed.

I wrote an e-mail to my ex in Philly pouring out everything
I feel. Not exactly about my love for him, just about
things in general. Like I said above...I hope I don't scare

Alot of people say that I'm intelligent, beautiful, and
wise. Yes, that's cool...but why do I feel so
insignifigant? I admit I can be more of a Gemini than a
Taurus. I have a Ying Yang side to me. One side thinks
she's the Queen of the world, the other thinks that she is
a kind of a peasant girl. How can I combine those two? I'm
trying to find ways...but I don't know how.

Anyways, it's late and I want a Pepsi. I'll tell more about
myself tomorrow. Tah-Tah.