Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
2002-01-15 06:15:06 (UTC)

Can't you see I'm waiting for you?

Floating....waiting?? Could it be true? Every song on the
radio makes me think of you.....I don't think I'm silly,
though sometimes I do.....everything about me reminds me of

I'm not sure if this is an attempt at poetry or what but
GAWD I'm gonna go crazy....I'm so messed up.....he's away
for a month I hear, in trouble....I bet it's just something
stupid that caught up to him but he called StC (my best
friend) asking for his brother's number, etc. and she's the
one who told me he's gone away. She tells me, and my mom
tells me (the only 2 who know about my feelings) that I
should call him when a month is up.....both of them think I
should try to get back with him........they think it would
happen.....think it's worth a shot.....

BUT WOULD HE?????? I dunno. I dunno what to think. If he
really thinks of me all the time (like he said, like he
told S) then why hasn't he called me???? Why didn't he call
me instead of his brother's ex? I mean, we're all like this
twisted little family really.....D&I, S&B(ex),
J&S....etc....the guys are all brothers.actually, the guys
are the reason us girls are so close and have remained this
close for so long.....

I keep telling myself not to think....not to
analyze.....just call him in a month. But what good would
it do?? Would he think me a fool???? Probably not.....maybe
he'd be glad......but who knows??

In my fantasy, it starts with that call & ends up eternal
bliss. We begin again as friends...then realise we can't be
with anyone else.....

But it's just that...a fantasy. I'm so silly I think. I
want to give it another chance.

Is this true or am I just love ridden??????
Ahhhhhhh........I dunno. I think it's worth a shot. Now I'm
just waiting.