peaches

love and lovers
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2001-04-15 15:13:45 (UTC)

lover and lovers

HELLO IT'S ME YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T EVEN
KNOW MYSELF WELL I LIKE TO TALK ABOUT LOVE AND LOVERS. THIS
IS A STORY ABOUT MY SELF I AM MARRIED AND HAVE A LOVER I
DON'T KNOW THE TRUE MEANING WHY BUT I THINK I LOVE THIS GUY
I AM WITH I BEEN WITH HIM FOR THREE YEARS.I BEEN SEPERATED
FOR THREE YEARS YUP I LEFT MY HUBAND FOR WHO I AM WITH NOW.
I BEEN IN A BADF MARRIAGE IT WAS LIKE I WAS BREATHING FOR
MY HUSBAND I DECIDED TO GET OUT I GOT OUT THE WRONG WAY BUT
I AM OUT AND ALIVE IN ORDER TO GET OUT OF MY MARRIAGE I HAD
TO WALK OUT ON MYSELF I WISH I DIDN'T BUT IT HAPPENED. I
SLEPT AROUND LOOKING FOR LOVE AND FOUND IT NO WHERE BUT I
WAS LOOKING FOR LOVE ON MY TERMS CAUSE EVERY ONES LOVE THAT
THEY OFFER TO YOU WAS ON THEIR TERMS . WELL I SLEPT AROUND
TIL I FOUND SOMEONE TO LOVE ME MY HUSBAND LOVED ME BUT IT
WAS ON HIS TERM OF LOVE AND I HATED IT HE DID EVERYTHING
HIS WAY BUT HIS LOVE WAS LOVEING ME PHYSICALLY AFTER HIS
PORNO LOVE WAS OVER . WHAT I MEAN IS THAT HE ONLY SHOWED ME
LOVE IN THE BEDROOM WHEN HE WAS DONE WATCHING HIS MOVIE OR
RADING HIS BOOK OR WHEN HE WOULD COME HOME FROM GOLFING . I
FOUND OUT WHERE HE GOLFED AT TO IN A STRIP CLUB. WELL BACK
TO ME I STRIPPED TO FEEL RELIVED AND WANTED AND GOD KNOWS I
WAS WANTED IN ALL KIND OF WAYS AND SOME WAYS I LIKED IT. I
MENT A LOT OF DIFFERENT MEN SHORT, TALL, BIG AND SMALL.I
EXSPERIENCED EVERYTHING GOD KNOW I REGRET MY PAST I HAD TO
STRIP ALL CAUSE I LEFT AMARRIAGE IN HELL. PEOPLE TELL ME
THAT THERE WAS LOT OF OTHER RESOURCES BUT BACK THEN THERE
WASN'T I KNOW NOW THERE WAS BUT BACK THEN I CRAVED LOVE IN
THE WRONG PLACES EVEN USEING DRUGS. I SMOKED WEED TO FEEL
GOOD AND DRANK BACARDI TO GET IN THE MOOD TO DANCE TOOK
COUPLE OF DRINKS TO GET ON THAT HORRIBLE STAGE.I USE TO CRY
ON THE STAGE ESPECIALLY FOR MY CHILDREN WHO NOW IS 4 AND 7.
WELL THE MORE I WAS SAD THE MORE I GOT MONEY I FIND MEN
LOVE THE SAD LOOK AND I NEED YOU LOOK THEY TAKE BOTH LOOKS
COMBINE IT TOGETHER TO THE TAKE ME I'M ALL YOURS LOOK THAT
WAHT HURTED TO.WELL I WENT THROUGH ALOT OF DIFFERENT MEN TO
GET WHERE I AM AT TODAY . I SLEPT AROUND BUT IT WAS ONE
TIME AT AT TIME I WOULD BREAK-UP WITH ONE BOYFRIEND TO
ANOTHER.ANYWAYS WITH ME LIVING IN ONE HOUSE TO ANOTHER. I
FINALLY SAID TO MYSELF NO MORE I NEED TO GET BACK MY LIFE
BUT MY LIFE NOT WITH MY HUSBAND.I MET AN AFRICAN MAN WHO I
HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND FELL INLOVE AND BEEN WITH HIM EVERY
SINCE IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS WE BEEN TOGETHER AND I HAVE MY
LIFE ON TRACK WHATS HARD ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP IS THAT I
TELL HIM I LOVE HIM ALOT AND I DO BUT HE'S NOT THE TYPE TO
SHOW LOVE I HAVE TO START IT. FOR EXAMPLE I WILL ASK HIM DO
YOU LOVE ME HE'LL GET TIRED OF ME ASKING BUT HE WOULD TELL
ME ALL THE TIME HE DO. HE'S BEEN THERE FOR ME THROUGH ALOT
OF BAD TIMES AND BEEN MY ONLY TRUE FRIEND BUT HE NEVER
TREATS ME SPECIAL. FOR EXAMPLE HOLIDAYS HE DOESN'T GET ME
ANY GIFTS IT MIGHT SOUND SELFISH BUT I WISH HE WOULD THINK
ABOUT ME THREE YEARS WE BEEN TOGETHER AND HE NEVER BROUGHT
ME A GIFT. I ALWAYS GET HIM ROSES AND GIFTS ON HOLIDAYS AND
LOTS OF TIMES I WISH HE WOULD DO THE SAME IT IS SPECAIAL
AND FEELS GOOD WHEN SOME ONE YOU FEEL IS YOUR SOULMATE TO
BUY YOU A SMALL TOKEN OF THERE LOVE I WANT US TO GET ENGAED
AND HE WON;T I SOMETIMES TELL HIM I CAN'T BE HIS GIRLFRIEND
TIL DEATH DOES US PART. BUT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND I GUESS I
HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND I WILL CAUSE I LOVE THIS MAN IN MY
LIFE. WE EVEN LIVED TOGETHER FOR 2YRS. WELL DIARY TOMORROW
IS ANOTHER STORY ABOUT LOVE AND LOVERS.


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