Reality Bites
2002-01-15 03:11:20 (UTC)

Pain is here to stay

Today I got up at like 4 so I could put numbing cream on my
arms and face and then wrapped them in cerain wrap and then
I went back to sleep til 7, got up threw on some sweats and
went to the Dr.'s. I got lazer hair removal on my arms and
face and OH DEAR GOD did it hurt. Wow it was prolly the
most pain I have felt in quite awihile. The Dr. wants me to
go on the pill, lol, alright so I'm doing that next month,
I'm actually kinda happy cause it's a good precausion and
it'll help my skin. So I went home and fell asleep til 10
cause the numbing crap has a drowsieness side effect which
was potent today...dudde I almost didn't make it to the
car! Then I watched 2 episodes of ER and some sketchy
dating show called like Shipmates or was
wierd, but then i got up and took a shower and drove to
school at about 1.

I checked in at the office and then went to 6th period. OMG. I
walked in and Jes jumped out of his chair and was like,
"YES! you're here!" and my whole class was so happy. I was
like lol geez! I was gone for a That was cute.
Then I was sorta quiet cause the swelling on my face hadn't
gone down all the way and it was still quite red, but Mia's
all, "You look beautieful!!" which was wierd cause I sure
didn't FEEL it. Then Jes passed me like 3 notes that were
like, "How are ya?! Are you ok?" and all that and I didn't
write back til like the class was almost, then he
walked me to my locker which was cute. Then I saw all my
friends from my class who were like really excited to see
me and it was so wierd cause dude it was only a day! lol.
but then I went to 7th and that was cool but my face hurt a
lot. Then my mom picked me up and I went to Starbucks and
then to therepy which was really good today. We made tons
of progress. So I was happy about that. Then I came home
and ate dinner w/ my sister and now I'm gonna check my
homework and see what I absolutely have to do for tomarrow,
cause I'm feelin extra lazy!

I'm very happy with myself for 2 reasons. Even amist my
blochy red face I didn't come down too hard on myself and I
acutally went to school and to Starbucks and I wasn't even
that self conscious. And also cause Jes was being
interested and I wasnt really that happy. I was, cause
we're cool again, but I honestly wouldnt go out with him
right now cause I need to work on me like I said. I feel
like when I get to a comfortable place for me then I'll be
able to trust guys---and Jes with things more, especially
something so fragile as my heart, which isn't that stable
right now as it is. I also want to concentrate on being a
better friend to my friends...I want to be one of those
people who others look at and go, "Gosh she's a really good
friend" that's a goal of mine. So hopefully I can acomplish
those things soon...Til later~Me~