Maria aka bryant
October 12, 2000 (my first..
October 12, 2000 (my first entry!)
Well, for those reading..my name is Maria.(I can be contacted at
[email protected] and I have a pic on "love @ aol" under my name if
you want to see my pic). I am not going to direct this diary to
those reading...rather they can find out any info as it comes out
from me writing it. Well, here goes:
I called off from work today. I just wasn't in the mood to do
anyone's makeup. Let alone my own. IT is so tough being a
transexual, let alone being one that is 26, and just starting
out...and still living as a boy most of the time.
I had a dream the other night that I got off of a train in a new
city, and was so relieved ( a little scared too!) to be out of
PIttsburgh PA. This place is killing me. I am not certain if I am
ready for a huge city, but a good sized one would be great. I have
been praying nightly to find happiness in my life..whatever it may
be. It has really been an exploration time for me. I have really
been re-evaluating my life thus far, and removing things that no
longer fit. Like cleaning out an old closet. I really recommend it
to anyone who doesn't know what to do with their life. I got rid of
James( a friend who was talking about me behind my back), and I may
have to rid myself of a few more friends before it is all over. I
have a few that are great..but the rest are bums.
I need to quit smoking weed to take away tension. Cigarrettes need
to go as well. I just want to treat my body better than I have
I also want to move away from Pittsburgh and get on with my life. I
know that we take our problems with us....just wish someone would
sponsor my journey...he he he. I have enough problems with having to
spend my money on two lives for now. Its very expensive being
transgendered! I want to live where I am accepted totally..or as
close to it as possible. I know it will hurt my family, but I have
to move away and give them a break for the courage to continue this
journey. I am taking marginal hormones ..just enough to soften..and
give a little breast development. but I need hair removal in the
worst way....there are just so many things to do!
Today, I want to set up a game plan to get the hell out of here!
And that is all I have to say for now!