my so wicked life
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2002-01-14 20:31:10 (UTC)

pathetic life

im feel like abandoned really nobody care of me and not my
boyfriend i was feeling lonely a lot i don't know how to go
ahead with people to make them accept me and im sick about
that i was glad to see my bestfriend on the break I make
her happy because she saw me with my contact and she said
me how much I change in the right way
about my apearence she said \"oh u change urself coze ur are
go out for ur depressed time \" i saw u on the photo from
few years ago and im happy to see how u change\" so its cool
evrybody notice my contact i get at least....
well the girls of my classes get a tradition when one of
them from their bunch get her birthday they go in the pub
and have a dinner there there will be two birthday the
first the of LISE the girl i hate really and the other of
WIHLEMINE and girl who seems like a pigs whom i hate too...
i don't tell about my birthday anyhow nobody care....
in comptability was feeling bad and boring notice that
there was a separate line and different group first the
group from the bitch they are 8 second the bunch of JO who
are more cool they are 4 and the guy still together coze
they are few...and me the one....so that idea make me crasy
and sad anyhow feel like the one rejected there is kind of
apartheid about myself....the guy talked to me a few like
julien and Yassin there is
still the idea about sex like this one to complet sex with
who need that on the third stage
i was smiled at them but in fact i was \"thinking if only i
knew about my boyfriend i should be able to that without
any beatroyal\" and if only i knew
about my highschool if i move or not i should be able to do
that so that make me sick with that idea too.... the
comptability teacher shouted after me whenever i was being
to write a letter to Julie about my boyfriend but the
teacher saw me and noticed i was doing something else
whenever i was supposed to copy what there was writting on
the board he come near me and ask ok what are you doing are
u doing u other homework ? no its a letter what a letter?
u write a letter in class see there is other thing to do
tidy this stuff somewhere else and follow the lesson was
feeling emmbarras hate that teacher...but at the end his
cells phones rangs in class whereas its is forbidden and
whereas the lesson wasn't finish but as it stay just 5
minutes he answered it i was angry what he can answer to
his cellphons whenever can finish my letter?? i was jealous
to see JENIFER
leave with audrey out of the highschool because she can ask
for someone and they go each other nobody ask me and im
afraid to be refused its never feeling the case....
i was going at the centershop coze feeling too sad to go
home just went there to buy food but i was feeling bad
there i wasn't able to breath get hungry start to panick
and finally whenever i was on the cashier i was close to
faint quiet pathetic get food in my arms whenever was close
to faint coze I was hungry....finally go back at 7.am my
mom wasn't happy to see me late but i don't miss school
that day so she has nothing to say about it...
finally i don't think i goona work a lot today whereas i
supposed that doesn't serv if i project to kill me
to nothing and im in front of the screen like useal.... i
think gonna do an food and alcohols overdose that night
gonna vomit till the last limit gonna shave my hand earlier
tomorow kill me anyhow my life is so pathetic and feel
lonely evrywhere is like nobody needs me
so that doesn't serv.......\"life\".....
i have to write a mail to my cousin coze i let a message on
his cells phones so i have to do that coze i know he get
this message grrr maybe the last thing i gonna do lively or
maybe calling my bestfriend but don't gonna do that coze
coward.........gonna find the peace i want hope to improve
if not that should be the hell here

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