fucked up
2002-01-14 17:04:44 (UTC)


people are being wierd again. sandee is leaving
wednessday. i'll miss her alot. When mars gets up we're
going to go and get my gov't book. I start tomarow.
Somewhat nervous.. I havn't been to a real school for a
while now. I went to PACE wich is a program where you go
for three hours (5-8)every monday-thursday. you work on
one subject at a time. They give you a packet and you go
through answering the questions at you own pace. they let
you do it however you want as long as you are doing
something.that was nice. you didn't talk to anyone, you
just did your work. i finished under a month. But i
still need a gov't credit so i decided to try it as a dual
credit. Since i need my highschool diploma before
anything els i have to take gov't fast. I'm taking it as
an 8 week course. I go every tuesday and friday from
2:50 -5:30 i think. I can't remember when we get out.
I'm nervous about having to be around people again. I
hate people. there stupidity pisses me off. I would
rather just be with my group of friends. We have enough
stupidity. I don't need to be around complete morons.
Some people like being around stupid people so that it
makes them look smarter. Why would you just want to look
smarter when you can hang out with people of more
inteligence in certain things and gain actual knowledge.
All of my friends are verrry smart. I guess we all are.
Its kinda wierd. We all have little things that were
smart in that helps each other. For instance sandee is
full of usless knowledg that we all actually enjoy
learning. Rose is smart in life. She gives great
advise. Mars is full of info on religions and history. I
am good at science and math. (and making myself look
smarter than i am) We are all good at proving others
wrong. HEHE i think we all get a kick of that. Most of
the time. you don't take it offensivly most of the time.
But there are times and subjects that will just piss the
other person off if you prove thier wrong. Actually i
think that that's just me. *shrugs*. We had a ritual
healing yesterday. just us 4 girls. We all wrote down
things that we wanted to get rid of and burned them. One
of mine is being hard on myself. Thats really hard.
Another one is being frustrated. Thats even harder. Have
you actually ever tried to not ever get frustrated for a
day?? its hard. I already have been. almost to tears. I
couldn't figure out why my speakers weren't putting out
music. I made sure they were pluged in to the comp right,
made sure the volume was up and couldn't think of anything
els to do. i was ( ) close almost crying. pathetic
huh. ooops. not hard on myself not hard on myself. I
said fuck it and started doing other things and then
rememberd that the amp wasn't pluged in so if was switched
on nothing would come out. sure enough someone had turned
them on. So i turned them off and walah. Rabit in the
moon's remix of sarah McLachlans Fear. ok im going to go
and take a shower. then maybe clean up a little.
*cringes. Lata