Self harming dyke
Mood: oddly detached
cuts: lots and lots - my wrist is a beautiful bruised thing
covered in transparent plaster.
I have just found out that I cannot defer the repayment of
my loan. It means that £500 will come out of my account
every month for the next 12 starting on the 29th January.
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck to them. There is
precisely minus £2000 in there and my bank will refuse to
pay, then charge me for the privilege. I will then be taken
to court by the CDL (loan) company and still not be able to
pay. I will be put in prison, thereby making my chances of
getting a job even slimmer (didn't realise this was
possible) and so I'm thinking of saving them all the
bother, going home now and cutting my wrists properly. No
more of this faffing around taking little slices - I need
to hack right down on them and get a proper flow of blood.
I will then die and either: a)Go to hell or b)be
reincarnated as a cat.
Either way, it avoids the CDL and prison.
One problem with all this is my parents. They would be
upset. But then again, they will not be around for that
much longer and their lives without me in them would be a
lot easier anyway so I would actually be doing them a
favour. I AM LONELY i spend so long on my own and I will
never be with anyone anymore. I cant keep going like this
I don't even feel like crying, but dying