ashley

writings on the wall
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2002-01-14 09:18:46 (UTC)

sleepless night

last night i couldn't hardly sleep at all. i blamed
it to the tea i had during lunch but i doubt if that's the
problem. maybe i have too much things to think about,
unconsciously. i was lying in bed, thinking of the good
times i spent with Stanley but there are no more tears
left. come to think of it, i think i am seriously not over
him yet. it's like every time i see a girl on the street
who has that type of eyes (as my good friend described
after seeing her photo), i'll stare at her and asked
myself if this is the one. foolish, ain't it? but i just
can't help myself.

i just e-mailed him last night, asking for
forgiveness for all the harsh things i had said and done.
well, actually, i can't even remember how many thousand
times that i have apologized to him after all the hurtful
things i've said. he must have think that i am some kinda
nut or something but that, is not important anymore.

i told Louis to tell Chris that i'll have sex with
him if he brings me clubbing. i must be nuts!!! anyway,
not long after that, my cellphone rang and it was their
office's number. i didn't pick up both times. maybe i was
afraid of who it might be or that i'll be tongue-tied.
whatever, if it's Chris and if he really wants it, then
he'll have to call again.

my top priority now is myself. no more thinking
twice about doing something because i care what other
people will think of me. i mean, who the fuck do they
think they are? they have absolutely no rights to judge
me.welcome, the brand new me!


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