My life
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2002-01-14 04:47:46 (UTC)

My life

before i start this thing called a diary i should prolly
give you guys some information right? Well i am a resident
in monroe highschool.. But see i use to live in
Orangeville ILLNOIS until i had some bad things happen to
me. Back there i was a "prep" and had a wonderful bf of
of few years. Then i moved and Nic and i broke up. We
are like best friends now and that is really neat, cuz now
we can talk about our problems to one another and we keep
it a lil secret. But anyways- I moved up here last year
starting a new life. I became grat friends with all of my
home girls now. Staci, amber, calli, nicole, brittnay,
alicia,angel, richard, chris and etc.... you all know who
you are...Oh yeah i cant forget Kentucky! Lol But i didnt
do so well up here at first. I started smoking and
becoming really "slutty" as you could say. I got in a lot
of trouble with the one girl. We snuck cigarrettes on
school property. Cant you say stupid!!! I didnt have
boyfriends at first because man who would want to date me?
I was usually pretty ugly. Then i met some really cute
guys up here. PHillip is one of em, he was my first kiss.
I was spending the nite at someone elses house and the date
was December 19, 2001! I remember it like yesterday, and i
always will remember it. But after that it seemed like all
these guys were only trying to get to know me cuz i would
kiss them or something. It didnt accure to me at first but
then after everything, i relized that they were jsut using
me! i cried for days after i found out. Then i
graduated from 8th grade. That was the day/night!!!! Over
the summer i missed all of my friends. I couldnt talk to
one of them because i was a trouble maker and her parents
didnt care for me anymore! That was the hardest summer for
me because i couldnt talk to her anymore that summer. So i
became sad and depressed. So i started to see a
therapist. Kerry was the best, i could tlak to him for
ever. but after a lil while he had to quite his job cuz he
had soem other problems. On the first day of highschool my
friends and i were soooooo scared. So we all stuck
together and made it threw it together. After the year
started i had the eye for this one guy. His name is Cj.
Man he brighten my day whenever i talked to him. He was
soo nice to me even though he didnt have a clue who i was.
We met through the Study Skills felid trip! Do you
remember that cj? but then i guess he started thinkin that
i was a slut or something cuz we didnt talk to eachother
for a lil while. Then we had this one dance. it was the
homecomming dance. I was dancing with cj and he smelled
really good. I jsut wanted to stay in his arms forever.
he makes me feel really safe. Then at the end of the nite
he tried kissing me! I wanted to but i didnt. Im not sure
of what he thought of me then. We didnt talk for a few
more months. then we ended up talkin to eachother again.
My feelings for him started all over again. I couldnt help
it. Ever since then i just keep on trying to ask him out.
but everytime he says no cuz i act like a slut and i have
different bf's every week!!!!! Which i didnt! If i had a
bf i would stay with him! so i was trying to get him outa
my mind so i went out with this jon guy. We went out for
only a couple of weeks, Then something terrible happend.
but thats not something that i can share with you. Well
thats all for now cuz ppl wanna get some sleep or
something. And cj if you are reading this....please please
jsut let me show youthat im not what you think i am and i
will always like you!

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