a little piece of me
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2002-01-14 04:34:28 (UTC)

oh geez

first off, i'd like to make a comment to whoever left the
anonymous feedback about *really* helping myself. thanks
for the advice or whatever. if you think it's so stupid,
that's your deal. we are each entitled to our own
opinions. i didn't ask you to read my diary, so don't be
rude to me. to the others, thanks for not being rude.
i'll get back to you shortly. oh yeah, and to whomever
wrote about the birds...once again, we're each entitled to
our own opinions. thanks for sharing yours.

anyway, brett and i decided to stay together, but also to
see other people. i know i brought it up, because i know
that's what he wanted, but that's certainly not what i
wanted. i know, i'm so friggin stupid. oh well. that's
just how i am. i've learned to accept that. so should
anyone else who might be reading this. i never claimed to
be intelligent, and if i did i must have been drunk or
something along those lines. who the hell knows.

urgh. it's such a pity i pitched out all those old
blades. i really could use a nice sharp, shiny blade right
about now. yeah yeah, that's bad for me. that's a stupid
thing to do. it doesn't solve any problems. blah, i say.
it helped me stay sane before. prevented me from killing
myself. sorry heather, but tomorrow i'm getting more. i
miss it so much. i need it so much. nothing against you,
but you understand, don't you? all this talking is just
making me feel worse. that's why i don't want to go to a
therapist. talking has never helped. i'm so horrible at
articulating myself. i can never say what i want or what i
mean. things always come out the wrong way.

well, i'm still tired, so i think i'm going to bed.
getting up bright and early for school tomorrow. joy.