Trixie Dust

Trixies in the Wind
2002-01-14 04:05:04 (UTC)

... i miss him...

serenitysword: matt left and i wasnt ready for him to go
serenitysword: lol does that make me selfish?
MonoxideChild409: nope
MonoxideChild409: ashley did the same to me
serenitysword: hes like... i should go
serenitysword: and im like, okay....
MonoxideChild409: and ur like GUFAAWWW
serenitysword: but i didnt want him too
serenitysword: why am i like gufaawww
MonoxideChild409: in ur head
MonoxideChild409: that he left lol
serenitysword: lol
MonoxideChild409: i was liek GUFAAAW when ashley left
serenitysword: nawh i just really miss him
serenitysword: i was like, but ... no....
serenitysword: i dont want you too lol
serenitysword: thats selfish
serenitysword: thats why i was like, yeah
MonoxideChild409: that's what GUFAAAW is
serenitysword: lol
MonoxideChild409: exactly
MonoxideChild409: i didn't tell her that, but i thought it,
i felt it
serenitysword: yeah
serenitysword: i want him here
serenitysword: i need him adn i miss him
serenitysword: just seeing his sn on teh screen is
serenitysword: does that make me a loser?
MonoxideChild409: exactly
MonoxideChild409: and yes
serenitysword: lol
MonoxideChild409: because i'm a loser
serenitysword: yay
MonoxideChild409: and ur like me
serenitysword: lol
serenitysword: yeah kinda
serenitysword: i just like the idea that hes there
serenitysword: even if were not saying much
serenitysword: hes there
MonoxideChild409: is releiving
serenitysword: and its like, awwhs hes there
serenitysword: yeah
MonoxideChild409: i knwo hunnie
MonoxideChild409: i really do
serenitysword: i really really miss him and its making me
mad at myself lol
MonoxideChild409: you too huh?
serenitysword: yeah
serenitysword: i need him too much adn it pisses me off
MonoxideChild409: ditto
serenitysword: if he leaves me ill get crippled and i dont
want that
serenitysword: i cant do that
MonoxideChild409: we're too mcuh the same
serenitysword: you dont rely on love, love hurts you
serenitysword: yeah
MonoxideChild409: love relies on you
serenitysword: love bites you in the ass
serenitysword: thats what love does
serenitysword: love is one of the most greatest and painful
emotions ever
serenitysword: it can rip you apart and bring you up
serenitysword: love is the biggest oxymoron ever
MonoxideChild409: and it does it at the same time
serenitysword: yeah
serenitysword: i hate that
MonoxideChild409: love's a might bitch, you know why loves
a bitch?
serenitysword: like, i need him now and i cant have him
serenitysword: shore enlighten me
MonoxideChild409: cause if love was a guy u'd jsut kick
love in the Snarglies and get it overwith!
MonoxideChild409: be like *BAM* and you'd be fine
serenitysword: lol you saying loves a chick?
MonoxideChild409: :-D
MonoxideChild409: love's a BITCH
serenitysword: love is hell
MonoxideChild409: not a BASTARD, a BITCH
serenitysword: so a chick
MonoxideChild409: lust is hell
MonoxideChild409: love is purgatory
serenitysword: lol
serenitysword: love is heaven and hell and all the pains
and rewards of both

I should go to bed, but I dont wanna wake up and pretend
everythings okay, because its not. I know I should be
worried about the people in Asia that have nothing, but i
cant right now, I cant. And if i were going to do
missions, I do it in the US, cuz i think they need it here.

Everyones life is going to hell right now. That sucks. I
wish i could just suck it up and be the perfect friend and
worry about others instead of me, but I cant. Im sick of
pretending im okay. I want some one to take care of me.
Im sick of taking care of everyone else. I sound like a
selfish brat, but im not, Im really not. I would give my
life and everything i have for a person. I always do that,
I get walked all over. I know life, i knwo how it works.
Im not saying i know everything or that im perfect, im just
saying i need help and no one is there to help me and it

matt, mary, will, i love you guys

to self: shut up before i slap you