Life on the other side
2002-01-14 03:13:26 (UTC)

Trouble with my Sponsor

First lets catch up. Saturday I worked all day, and
actually did pretty well. That night kriss and I went to
dinner. A girl she wants to hook me up with was coming
over to her apt. I told her to call or come over when she
arrived. I never heard from krissy for the rest of the
night. Butch and his roommate ended up coming over and we
played games. I ended up having a pretty good night.
Now lets get down to today. I woke up around 11 am. Did
not do much all day. i mainly hung out with Jeffy. But
none of that is bothering me. What really hurts is that my
sponsor fired me (I think). he told me he did not think
that i was ready to work the steps. He says that i wait
untill 10pm to call him and if he tries to call me back i
cannot be reached. I told him that i live with three other
people, who are constantly on the net. I can't control my
roomates or tell them not to get on the net. My sponsor
said that he has other sponsees that get in touch with him
two or three times a day. He says if they can do it i can
too. that is not true. I usually work everyday from 8 to
5 and then go to group. I don't get home til 9 or 10. I
am not allowed to call from work and even if i was i would
not be able to talk long. He does not seem to understand
this fact. also, my sponsor is not the easiest person to
get a hold of. Most of the times i call he is not there
and i have to leave a message. he told me to call him when
i am ready to work the steps or to find some other sponsor.
I did not think that this would fuck with me so bad. But
i have been in a bad space lately and i could really use
someone to talk to. i need someone with experience in
recovery. I have had many thoughts of using and selling
running rampant through my mind. I can't get them out of
my head. I don't want to have to find another sponsor
because i actually like him alot, but i guess i don't have
a choice. i can't believe my sponsored fired me. That
makes me feel so low. Butch is suppose to call me and
talk. i just IM his roomate to tell him to tell Butch to
call. Hopefully i will feel better after talking to him.
i sure hope so. Tommorrow i shall tell the next episode of
the saga i call the life of a man named bubba

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