Sare

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2002-01-14 00:33:30 (UTC)

Annoyance that never ceases

I don't think I understand...maybe I hit one of those
teenager sydroms? You know...where it feels like your
parents close in on you from all sides? It's really stupid
sounding...even to me it is. But it's such a strong
feeling...like my parents won't just let go! They really
like my boyfriend, seems that he gets along with my parents
better than me. I guess I'm weird...oh well, I can't get
rid of the feeling. Like today...I kinda felt hurt when my
mom just started puting everything in my room where she
wanted, going thorugh stuff, etc. Couldn't she have at
least asked? Or told me to clean up my room right away.
My mom even bragged about it to my boyfriend...yay
mom...you cleaned my room. The only way I've reliezed my
stress was taking a shower...those kinda take away all my
thoughts and worries. Something about them...every 5
seconds my mom comes in my room with a complaint...why not
David, my brother? Hmm, he must be perfect then. Since he
can just stay in the computer room undisturbed all day, go
to friends houses whenever. Do whatever. Sounds fair,
right? Some people say my parents obviously favor me for
that...but to me, they won't let me go...it's like a chain
around my neck. If I even told my mom part of this she
gets really mad and upset. And then the guilt comes...I
would have to say that guilt is my biggest enemy. I fall
so easily to it. I can't help it though...I kinda also get
annoyed about how people bring up my flaws of the past.
shea (my friend) does that a lot. anything to make her
look innocent and me cruel. I admit that a year ago I was
mean to people...but I've changed. Yet people still bring
it up! Espically when I am close to making a new friend.
Am I not aloud to have a life? apparently not...If I bring
anything up about anyone else they all tell me off...why is
it that they are aloud to be mean to me? I don't see the
fairness. Did I miss the news article of ruin my life?
Maybe it was sold out becaues everyone else knows about
it...well, I've rambled enough.
Sare


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