Chloroform Perfume

A Barbie Devoured My Sunshine
2002-01-13 23:25:08 (UTC)

This Lone Emotion

I've come to realize that my emotions have been erased. All
but one. I no longer feel happy when I see Justin's name on
my Buddy List. I no longer feel sad when I think of home. I
no longer feel lonely as I sit upstairs writing. I no
longer feel excited when the phone rings. I simply feel
hatred. At all times, each day, sleeping, waking, always. I
feel the hatred breathing in my soul, rising up and lashing
out at the nearest thing.

Where does this anger begin? The supposed woman who claims
to be my maternal guardian. Janice. She isn't a mother.
She's hardly human. Yet, people love her. Correction,
outsiders love her. Those unlucky enough to have spent
neverending lifetimes with her see her for all that she is:
A selfish, money-hungry bitch that speaks only lies. But
she is so good at speaking and covering these lies that
those who aren't with this beast nonstop cannot see the
falsities she claims.

And my only wish is to kill her. But then life would be
worse than it is at the moment. I once thought that to be
impossible, life getting worse that is. Not now, I've
grown, I've realized. I know she could send me to the
looney bin, though she already plans to.

I simply hate her. And I want to go home.




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