jane_doe

a little piece of me
2002-01-13 18:18:29 (UTC)

wasting away..

i'm going back to not eating today. brett gave me some
trouble about it while he was here, so i ate once,
sometimes twice a day. that was way too much. i might
have to have a little something today, so i have a tad bit
of energy tomorrow, but i doubt it. maybe i'll just eat
tomorrow. maybe not. i really don't care right now. i've
been depressed again for almost 2 weeks. i really fucking
hate this. i try and try to fight it, but it always comes
back. sometimes i really just want to give up. just end
everything. who am i kidding? sometimes?? more like most
of the time. i'm still not sure what keeps me going.
there isn't much that i can think of. i guess just the
false hope that things will get better? i dunno. i don't
really believe that they will, so that can't be it. i just
don't know. maybe i should go back to bed. no thinking
that way. just sleeping. i'm still exhausted. i went to
bed around 1 and got up at 10 something. that should have
been enough sleep, but i feel like i haven't slept in
days. ugh. i hate being me. anyone wanna trade places?
strike that...i wouldn't wish me or my life on anyone. ok,
i quit.

jane_doe