I am a goddess
2002-01-13 15:05:03 (UTC)

As i rot in my skin, a piece of me dies everyday.

You know when you feel like shit and you feel that nothing
you do can ever be right again? Well thats how i feel today.
And everyday if i want to be honest.

I dunno its like another person has taken control of me.
Maybe its just cos i feel like shit cos i'm still ill.

My parents are making me eat. They say they are "worried"
about me. Heh thats a laugh. Them concerned???? Ha ha hardy
har. And i can't throw all the food back up again because
of my throat.
I can see my tonsils when i open my mouth.
The thing that rests in the middle of your mouth is forced
to rest on either of the tonsils as there is no space for
it to go.

I can't even get one finger down.

I don't want the food, I'm not fucking hungry. If i'm
hungry i will eat. Thats the way it is.
And recently. I haven't been hungry at all.

I'm fasting tomorrow. Just for a day or...... until i get
hungry. I'm not stupid. I'm not. I'M NOT!

Just depressed.
I hate myself today, actually thats a lie. I hate
I don't look in the mirror
I don't like what i see staring back at me.

As i rot in my skin, a piece of me dies everyday.
I know i'm nothing.
Because i'm ugly.