bluff before i

my life, my world, my mind, my soul
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2002-01-13 09:38:34 (UTC)

too many tears...

the day started out perfect..

a broken heart..not yet..but too close.

i don't know what to think anymore..i'm so confused..i
don't know who to trust..myself or him..are my feelings
real??..i still believe they are..but if he asks if there
is such thing of falling out of love then my feelings don't
really matter do they??...it's not like i can make him love
me back..and i never believed that you can love a person
who doesn't love you..so if he doesn't love me, does that
mean that we were never meant to be together??..or can you
be in a relationship without loving the other??..can i be
in that kind of relationship??..i'm all too confused..i
didn't want to lose him..i even said that but i can't make
him stay..can i be his bestfriend still if our whole
relationship was a lie??..meaning that if he said that he
loved me and didn't mean it then our relationship wasn't
real..i don't believe that there is such thing as falling
out of love..comon..you probably didn't love the person in
the first place..

no..i loved him..i still do..i hate it because when i start
to worry..i've always had this breathing problem..i can't
breath fast enough..i can't breath fast enough right now..

can i be his bestfriend??...wait..can i even be his friend??

that was the first time i saw him cry...i hate to see him
hurt..he made me feel special..but it doesn't matter
anymore..it was beautiful..he was beautiful to me..now
he's..i don't even know what he is anymore..is he still
beautiful??..maybe..we were so much alike..i thought we
were perfect for eachother..but he had to think so too to
make it real..

dreams don't come true..i'm living proof.


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