BrownEyedGirl610

No day but today
2002-01-13 09:26:51 (UTC)

A little about me...

Hey everyone, this is my first entry. I thought I'd start
out with a little bit about myself.

The Basics:

I'm 19 years old and a sophomore at Oswego State
University. On my vacations I work at the Rochester Museum
and Science Center. My major is Elementary Education with
a concentrate in English. I've been having fun there--it's
a great school if you like party schools! ;)

My interests:

I have a HUGE love for music and Broadway. I'm a singer,
and my favorite things to sing are showtunes and old
standards (like Frank Sinatra). I've played 3 instruments
before I started singing, but eventually, I found that
singing came natural to me. I enjoy being in plays as
well. I was in one musical before for my community theater
group--"Annie". I was also in a couple of plays. I like
being the comic relief. It's such a rush to make a live
audience laugh. My dream role if I could ever make it to
Broadway would be Belle in Beauty and the Beast. My
musical idols are Billy Joel and Frank Sinatra. I'm a huge
Wizard of Oz fan as well because I love Judy Garland--I
found out not too long ago that I was born on her
birthday. :) If I believed in reincarnation, I'd think
that I was her in my past life--considering the birthday
and the fact my voice is similar to hers (we both kind of
have that deep, throaty kind of voice).

My life at the moment:

Right now things are... interesting. I've been
volunteering at my former elementary school with my all
time favorite teacher. It's been fun so far. I have a
feeling I'm going to enjoy being a teacher in the future.
I like kids, and I'd like to teach them in a way that's fun-
which is something that I always wanted as a kid. Other
than my volunteering, I've been hanging out with my best
friend. You know how some friends will ditch you when they
have a boyfriend? What I love about my best friend is that
she never does that to me, unlike a lot of our other
friends. She's like a sister to me. Speaking of
boyfriends, I'm single at the moment. For the first time
I've actually been enjoying the freedom. When I'm at
school, I'm constantly meeting guys when I go out to the
local bar. Usually they're drunk (as am I), but hey, as
long as you have fun, what does it matter? :) I like
having the freedom of going out, getting a little trashed
and then meeting a hot guy (or more than one...) and end up
making out with him until you have to leave... and know
that you're not hurting anyone. I'll eventually settle
down, but I figure I should live it up while I'm still
young!

There's a few bad events that have happened in the past
five months. The first one was a biggie--at the end of the
summer, my cousin, who was only 18 and just graduated high
school had died in a car accident--drunk driving. The
whole experience was kind of weird. It's not like I
haven't dealt with death before... hell, there's been a lot
of people in my family that have died... but they were all
older people... I had never lost someone that was my own
age before. It was strange, because this was someone that
I used to play with when I was a kid. Who expects
something like that? I never would have thought something
like this would happen to her back when we were watching
New Kids on the Block videos at her house. Of course,
about a week after her funeral was my cousin's wedding
(this girl was 18 years old and was already tying the
knot!)... talk about bad timing. Nobody was in the mood
for a wedding. It actually ended up being nice though. We
had the DJ play "Bridge Over Troubled Water" in her memory--
it was the song that was sang at her graduation earlier
that year. The moment the DJ played the song was so
amazing. My whole family gathered up in a circle--some of
us cried, some of us stood there in silence, and some of us
just held eachother. My family has had its history of
fights, so it was really nice to see everyone come together
for once... too bad it had to take a tragedy to make that
happen. Another bad event, yet not AS bad, was that about
a week after this wedding, I discovered that someone that I
used to call a friend had lied to me. It was about
something stupid really... It was around March 2001 when I
heard that my "friend" was going to go to my college in
Fall 2001. When I got home for summer break and saw him at
a play that I went to see some of my friends in, I asked
him about it. "So I hear you're going to Oswego. Cool."
And then he says to me "No I'm not. I'm going to Potsdam."
So I just figured I was just misinformed. Besides, I
didn't really want him on my turf anyway. There's
something I find weird about finding my friends from home
at a college that I go to. To me, there's a huge
separation between my friends at school and my friends at
home, so when I see one of my friends from home at my
school, it kind of freaks me out. It's like I feel they
don't belong there or something. I don't know why I feel
that way... probably because when I was a freshman, I had
gone to the school not knowing ANYONE at all. I had to
make new friends on my own, which I thought would be scary,
but ended up being easy. But anyway, it was about a week
after the wedding, I was walking to my class and then all
of a sudden I see my "friend" coming from the other
direction heading to HIS class! I was pissed because I
absolutely HATE being lied to. What pissed me off even
more was that he didn't even say ONE WORD to me! Not even
a "hi". I couldn't understand why he lied to me about
something like that... evidently to avoid me or something.
So I just dropped him as a friend. Simple as that. It
took him 2 months to finally say something to me. He
unfortunatley lives in my building, so one night I was
walking in my residence hall around midnight and he was at
the snack machine. I was just going to ignore him as
usual, but this time he decided to say something to
me. "Sup?" he says.. I could feel the hate burning up
inside of me. There was only two words I could respond
with: "Fuck you," and then I just kept walking. I haven't
talked to him since. Then my last bad event was the
discovery of another liar. Over the summer, I had met a
guy when I visited my Godfather one day. We hit it off
right away and ended up switching screen names at the end
of the night. We talked for the rest of the summer and
while I was at school for awhile. We had a lot of things
in common and it was just fun talking to him. He admitted
to me that he liked me, and then I eventually found that I
liked him back. Even though we weren't a couple, I had
never been happier. Then starting the first of November,
he stopped talking to me. I didn't see him online, he
didn't respond to my e-mails, and I could never get him on
the phone. I had no idea what was wrong. A little bit
before Christmas, I found out through my best friend that
he was blocking me. I was so angry and so hurt, I didn't
know what to make of it. I decided then and there to just
forget about him. It wasn't worth getting upset over
something I know wasn't my fault. He could have at least
been mature to give me a reason why and just tell me like
it is, but oh well. It doesn't matter to me anymore.
Theres something I learned from these two assholes--men
can't be trusted. This is why I prefer going out to the
crowded bar, getting trashed and making out with some
random guy; if you don't know them, then you can't get hurt.

Well, I ended up writing a lot more than I expected! Leave
me some notes everyone! Hopefully I'll write again soon. :)




Ad: