The Shadow of Myself
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2002-01-13 06:56:07 (UTC)

I wonder what it'd be like...

Well.. what I want so bad right now is the be sitting right
next to you.. talking about this whole whatever it is...
the whole deal.

But instead I'm just sitting here.. thinking.. how huge
this all is. My gut is telling me we are in exactly the
same place.. that you're feeling the same way that I am
right now. It's so weird how I feel like nobody can
understand. Like it's soo unexplainable that I think only
you and I know.. and even we are kinda like what? I feel
like I have always known there is so much more to you than
you ever show. I see glimpses all the time of that part of
you that rarely comes out. I am trying so hard to know all
there is to know about you. That's what I want.

This is just like the most amazing feeling.. I don't know
what it is. Ok.. so maybe I really do have a umm.. good
idea of what it would be.. but I'm not saying it out loud
or admitting to it right now. B/c as soon as I am vocal
about that sort of thing it just gets soo much bigger b/c I
know I don't have to try to say that it's not like that or
whatever. It's fun to just kind of imagine what it would
be like to say it to you in person. To just say the whole
thing.. all of it.. and just to know that I've said it..
that would be so incredible. Of course when I imagine
telling you then you say the same thing back.. and well..
then we kiss. B/c how could we say that sort of thing and
not kiss afterwards?? Then I would fall over b/c I mean..
yeah.. I would probably have to fall over it would just
be.. wow.

I just sometimes wonder what you think about. Like what
conclusions you come to.. or if you ever just think of me
for no reason and smile. I do that.. I like smiling b/c of

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