Dreamer

All in the Night
2002-01-13 06:27:03 (UTC)

I am so very sad

I am so very sad.

I think i cried over a guy for the first time tonight.
Life would be so easy if we could simply go through the
motions, void all feelings thoughts and emotions. I had to
get attached. Why the hell did I have to get attached to
the one guy that's not even going to be here a week from
now??? Hell, not like he's really here fo r me as it is. I
think i et to see him maybe 2 times a week (outside of
work...and that's in a GOOD week. As we were standing in
the driveway tonight i made the comment that he acted like
he was half-afraid of me...his reply was something to the
effect of how he knew from the beginning that he was going
to leave, and that getting attached or serious or something
like that would only make things harder. Well, i wish he
woul dhave told me that a little earlier. Everyone wonders
hwy i flirt so much and why i can never stay in a
relationship...well mayeb this is why. Becaused i don't
want to get fucked over. Maybe I just took everything the
wrong way, but sometimes things aren't meant to be easy.
Thinking about him not actually liking me (or attaching
himself to me or whatever oyu want ot call it) hurts. But
whatever, he's just a guy right??? Yeah, a guy...one that
i'm going to miss.

Anyways I just want to say that all this entry was for was
me to get things off my mind.. I hope that whoever read it
got bored after the first sentence and just quit....i
should probably make my diary private. Oh well. Goodnight
to all.


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