Deep Down
2002-01-13 00:54:51 (UTC)

Been Awhile........

I know it has been a while since I have talked to you, and
I am terribly lost without you in all honesty. I feel so
horrible leaving for Canada and not even telling you,
nevertheless telling most of my friends. Jen and I just
decided to leave at like 12:30am. We thought it would be an
inspirational trip and it would help us clear our minds. I
have thought alot about us while being up there with the
beautiful scenery. I don't want to hold you back Star. In
fact, I don't want you to feel pity for me and my illnesses
or even to make you think that you need to stay with me
because I am ill. I am fine. I always have been, I am
strong, I probably always will be. They said I was suppose
to die 2 years ago *rolls eyes* It's not happening, and I
don't see it happening anytime soon. All I want is for you
to be happy. I feel like I am holding you back from
whatever it is you need to strive for. I don't want to keep
you from your dreams and goals. Your family is so generous
and caring, and I would never want you to betray them,
nevertheless keep my illness a secret from them. It will
only hurt everyone in the long run. I LOVE YOU!!! With all
my heart that I just want to jump up and down and sing and
declare my love for all eternity. I want you to do what YOU
want to do. I don't want to hold you back from anything in
your life......even if that does mean other men where you
live. You are a grow woman and can make your own
decisions...however, whatever you choose to do baby, I will
always be here for you...Loving you every step of the way.

Love Always,