angryanymore

daffodil lament

Music Choice of the day:
Daffodil Lament by the Cranberries

well... when erika and i woke up this morning... we went
downstairs... got some chocolate chip cookies, wheat
thins,and some nicotene... .... sat down in the living
room... and watched the rocky marathon on usa... ... good
times...

i don't know what's up... but everyone i've ever actually
known to die.... has died right around the past two years
and in january... i just heard that ashley williamson
died... i used to be best friends with her in 2nd 3rd 4th
and 5th grade... then she switched schools...lost touch
with her... and when i got to sp... we never really
talked... erika's grandmother said she got in a wreck last
nite... ... just lost control. ... it makes me think about
dying... and like... am i going to die tomorrow or next
week.... or within the next year or something... how long
do i have? how long do the people i love the most have? ...
it's more weird and surreal that scary.

to top off the proggresion of the day... i got a reply in
my diary box thing from david... ... (remember? the guy i
met at national convention from LA... ? ... ...) ...
anyhow... it said a bunch of stuff about him being
simple... and backing out of the picture.. and about how i
had maybe hurt him... well that made me feel weird... out
of place... close to angry... i don't know. ... it made me
feel as if i'm some cold icey bitch. ... and that's not
true. i don't feel like i am... have i evolved so much that
i don't even realize my own negative characteristics. ...
no way. i'm very particular about noticing my flaws... and
i... i dont know. ... he said that i had all of these guys
after me.. and yada yada... i do not, though! ... i
date... ... (right now only chip) ... and that's completely
normal... ... i enjoy dating... ... that doesn't mean guys
are "after me" ... it means i'm a normal teenage girl...
Moral Of The Story: ... i didn't appreciate what he said.

Man... I really miss William, my little goth friend from
New Orleans... he hasn't written in his journal in
forever.... sucks. (If you see this... COME BACK,
WILLIAM... life is boring when i can't read about yours!!!)

and i miss jackie too... i haven't talked to her in what
seems like forever. ... god... (email me and tell me what's
going on)

... haven't gotten report cards back yet. i know my grades
have dropped... but things haven't been good... so.. ya
know.... maybe mom will be understanding... maybe not. i'm
leaning toward not... ... but i don't care. i'm
stressed.... things can't be 4.0 all of the time. ... they
just can't be.

... guess i'll talk to you soon...

neeley