Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you wa
2002-01-12 18:04:46 (UTC)


Everytime that I see Dave and he just blanks me it makes me
want to cry. I feel so cold and empty when he does that, I
don't understand it. How can he block me out now after all
thats happened?
I know that I have some personality problems that I have to
deal with, and its not fair to blame him for the way I feel
or the way I act. It just seems like last year was a dream.
Sometimes I wonder if I imagined it all, if anything really
happened between us, because if my memory is right, then he
has changed in a big way since then. In a bad way. Changed
his whole personality and lost any compassion and
understanding. I know that I'm a difficult person for
anyone to be involved with, but I never expected him to
just give up and leave me alone to cope with it. I know
that I was a burden for everyone, and I still am. I just
don't know how to make anything work anymore.
The worst thing is when I see Dave with Kim, and she's
everything that I'm not, everything I could never be. I can
tell that she's not hard work. She's not demanding and
insecure like me. But somehow it doesn't make things any
better to understand her strengths and my weaknesses, it
just makes me even more helpless.