My World of Spinning Thoughts
2002-01-12 17:06:22 (UTC)

Sleeping is a challenge

It is now 12:23 AM on Friday January 11, 2002. I am up. I
can't sleep. It's like every time i close my eyes, a shield
of needles comes over me, I feel like if I go to sleep, I
will fall into endless darkness. I feel like I will never
wake up. For me, much pain comes with sleep. It feels like a
lonely dark, wet feeling. I'm scared that if i fall into
this dark hole, that I will never again be able to experience
the wonderful feeling of being loved, the feeling of warmth
after coming in from the cold endless white sheet of the
outside world. I will be lost forever inside my thoughts, my
thoughts, a world of dark, swirling memories, and those which
are yet to come.The constant buzzing of my thoughts will
never let me close my eyes again.My thoughts are now a thing
that I fear, not like before when I always waited for
them.Now I have left my thoughts with my world of warmth and
the feeling og being loved. I will soon fall into the
endless dark hole without warning. I must have a friend.