Lements of Madness and Depression
2002-01-12 16:34:23 (UTC)

put simply, life sucks time to vent

well since the last time i wrote in here alot of things
have happend...

ive been getting more and more close with philicia and well
it did lead to something in which i got myself in alot of
trouble so now my "bestfriend" cant even hold conversations
with me and i found out that i really am second best with
philicia.. she's stuck between two guys but she's already
chosen him. hurts her alot maybe not even meaning too hes i
gigantic baby and becomeing more and more of an ass hole
he's cheated on her 4 times. and she hasnt broken up with
him and she has been all faithfull to him till recently i
still talk to her tho i should feel kinda used and i do but
its not stopping me from talking to her cause i cant not
talk to her. its eally depressing cause shell bring up that
she likes me alot and she aparently doesnt see how much
that hurts me. *sigh* so i havent been mr selfesteem for
awhile now cause ive been feeling like crap. im running out
of friends like good friends people i can talk to it drives
me insane but i have to deal this whole experiance has
pulled the rug from beneath my feat and im struggling to
get back on my feet.

ive been cleaning out my room recently getting over old
memories of childhood im getting rid of toys that take up
space in my room im trying to grow up through this but its
hard hopefully after all this ile be just alittle bit
stronger it doesnt really help me none. i fogive and forget
and hopefully surpas nothing seems worth anything right now
so im just trying to get thru it all with at least a peice
of what i am or what i think i am welll yeah thats enough
of that im betting tierd of typing so yeah....

TACO!!!! that was me trying to cheer myself up....

didnt work