PunkGlitter

Christianity - Friend or Faux?

Last night I came home from a little "party" unto which
made me very depressed in the fact that my other friends
are so loved, and I am not...And I dont mean by like
parents n stuff, I mean by people who aren't forced to live
with me.

I came home and I was talking about how I wanted to die,
which I do, but I didnt want to kill myself in fear of
going to hell. Then some stupid Yahooer people join in
saying that I was stupid for wanting to "kill myself". But
they have no idea what is going on.

Some of my friends join in and I was questioning the
exsistance and power of God. I mean...Its all fine and
dandy for people who have no problems, obviously "God" has
been watching out for them or something. And you can
bullshit to me all night long of how I am so lucky that I
have food, shelter, and moderate health, but none of that
sounds good when you are deeply depressed, lonely, and it
looks like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. "God
has a plan". "God is watching over and testing you" What is
that bullshit? I HAVE A PLAN FOR MYSELF TOO! I like my plan
better. I admit it, I hate God's plan for me. And if he
loved me, my little plan that I had before all this shit
started happening was just cool. I went to church, I liked
God, he was always there, and then he left. Its like the
day I turned 16 was the day God decided to "test" me. I
feel like Im being punished, not tested.

Later, after admitting I believe in God, I was told that
all of the bible is from the mouth of God. And I dont
believe that. I disagree with alot of points from the
bible. For starters, I dont believe I am the weaker sex. I
refuse to believe men are greater than giving birth,
raising children, chemical imbalances, and rational
thinking. And since the bible was written durring and after
the time of Jesus' life I think there might have been a
little altering of the words to make it sound
more..."powerful".

I guess if disagreeing with parts of the bible doesnt make
me a Christian, then so be it. I like my Unitarianism. I
believe in every thing in the bible except a couple little
details that dont even apply to the real strong point of
the meaning of the bible.

So kiss my ass. Stop preaching words and start preaching by
actions. God would rather you go out and show the world
some of his words, than to sit at home, memorize them all,
and scream and beat them into people who will forget 99.9%
of it by the next day. Actions do speak louder than words.

XOXOXOX,
Jasmine Nicole