Calpurnia86

Pink Ribbon Scars
2002-01-12 16:02:31 (UTC)

I know im obsessed but all this BPD shit

Affect:
chronic/major depression
helplessness
hopelessness
worthlessness
guilt
anger (including frequent expressions of anger)
anxiety
loneliness
boredom
emptiness
Cognition
odd thinking
unusual perceptions
nondelusional paranoia
quasipsychosis
Impulse action patterns
substance abuse/dependence
sexual deviance
manipulative suicide gestures
other impulsive behaviors
Interpersonal relationships
intolerance of aloneness
abandonment, engulfment, annihilation fears
counterdependency
stormy relationships
manipulativeness
dependency
devaluation
masochism/sadism
demandingness
entitlement


And freakyess off all!! The following stuff just is me:

Traits involving emotions:
Quite frequently people with BPD have a very hard time
controlling their emotions. They may feel ruled by them.
One researcher (Marsha Linehan) said, "People with BPD are
like people with third degree burns over 90% of their
bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the
slightest touch or movement."

1. Shifts in mood lasting only a few hours.

2. Anger that is inappropriate, intense or uncontrollable.
(Intense and uncontrollable yes, well maybe
controlled by cutting or drugs or throwing up)

Traits involving behavior:

3. Self-destructive acts, such as self-mutilation or
suicidal threats and gestures that happen more than once.
(I self-harm)

4. Two potentially self-damaging impulsive behaviors.
These could include alcohol and other drug abuse,
compulsive spending, gambling, eating disorders,
shoplifting, reckless driving, compulsive sexual behavior.
Traits involving identity

5. Marked, persistent identity disturbance shown by
uncertainty in at least two areas. These areas can include
self-image, sexual orientation, career choice or other
long-term goals, friendships, values. People with BPD may
not feel like they know who they are, or what they think,
or what their opinions are, or what religion they should
be. Instead, they may try to be what they think other
people want them to be. Someone with BPD said, "I have a
hard time figuring out my personality. I tend to be
whomever I'm with."

6. Chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom. Someone with
BPD said, "I remember describing the feeling of having a
deep hole in my stomach. An emptiness that I didn't know
how to fill. My therapist told me that was from almost
a "lack of a life". The more things you get into your
life, the more relationships you get involved in, all of
that fills that hole. As a borderline, I had no life.
There were times when I couldn't stay in the same room
with other people. It almost felt like what I think a
panic attack would feel like."
Traits involving relationships

7. Unstable, chaotic intense relationships characterized
by splitting (see below).

8. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
Splitting: the self and others are viewed as "all good"
or "all bad." Someone with BPD said, "One day I would
think my doctor was the best and I loved her, but if she
challenged me in any way I hated her. There was no middle
ground as in like. In my world, people were either the
best or the worst. I couldn't understand the concept of
middle ground."

Alternating clinging and distancing behaviors (I Hate You,
Don't Leave Me). Sometimes you want to be close to
someone. But when you get close it feels TOO close and you
feel like you have to get some space. This happens often.
Great difficulty trusting people and themselves. Early
trust may have been shattered by people who were close to
you.

Sensitivity to criticism or rejection.

Feeling of "needing" someone else to survive

Heavy need for affection and reassurance

Some people with BPD may have an unusually high degree of
interpersonal sensitivity, insight and empathy

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe
dissociative symptoms

This means feeling "out of it," or not being able to
remember what you said or did. This mostly happens in
times of severe stress.

Miscellaneous attributes of people with BPD:

People with BPD are often bright, witty, funny, life of
the party.

They may have problems with object constancy. When a
person leaves (even temporarily), they may have a problem
recreating or remembering feelings of love that were
present between themselves and the other. Often, BPD
patients want to keep something belonging to the loved one
around during separations.

They frequently have difficulty tolerating aloneness, even
for short periods of time.

Their lives may be a chaotic landscape of job losses,
interrupted educational pursuits, broken engagements,
hospitalizations.

Many have a background of childhood physical, sexual, or
emotional abuse or physical/emotional neglect.

I couldnt have descibed me better myself.
Crazy Cal(also idiotic) xx




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