At long last...
I finally heard from him...this is part of his message...
THANKS, I WAS STUCK IN A RUT AND YOU PICKED ME UP. I LOVE
YOU, AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME
WAY. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, I SEE YOU IN EVERYTHING, AT NIGHT
WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES I CAN SEE YOU LIKE YOU WERE RIGHT IN
FRONT OF ME. IT`S AWESOME, I KEEP DREAMING ABOUT YOU...
My baby. I know I should just relax when I don't hear from
him for a few days, but he's like an addiction. His love
feels so good to me that when it's not there for awhile I
start to panic. I guess I still can't believe it on some
level. I've never felt this way about anyone. I know it
will take me awhile to get past my insecurities but when
we're together, he makes me feel good about myself. He told
me that looking at me naked was the closest thing to heaven
he's ever experienced. I can't imagine anyone thinking that
about me, there was a time I used to take baths with the
light off because I couldn't stand to look at myself. It's
hard for me to feel flawed. All I ever wanted was to feel
pure, and the knowledge that I was so far from it caused me
a lot of hurt. And then this man comes along, and the
things he says are so unreal I feel like I'm living in a
dream. I would do almost anything for him, I just want to
make him happy. His pleasure is mine too. I've never met
anyone so beautiful to me, sometimes when we go out I can't
believe that he's next to me. I can't even think about
losing him, that would absolutely crush me, sear me to the
core. He is my first love.