gaangelprincss

January 11, 2002

5 weeks and 7 days: Today! lets see. As usual I went to
the bathroom every hour. It seems to slow down at night,
but it is still often. So the little munchkin is moving
around and only my bladder can feel it.

I think I am going to write about Matt today. I wasn't in
love with him, but I sure liked him a lot. I found out 6
months into the "relationship" that I was pregnant. When I
told him, he freaked. He wanted me to have an abortion,
but when I refused, he stopped talking to me. I guess
after those six months he didn't know me at all...or he
thought he could change me. It's sad actually, because now
I want my baby to know her father. But he has decided to
be absent. Everyday I pray he will change his heart and
mind. I think if he had seen her on the monitor when I had
my ultra sound, he would be in as much love with her as I
am. I will let his parents know when she comes into the
world. Maybe they will want something to do with her.
They do know about the pregnancy, but they agreed with him
about me having an abortion. I guess, seeing them around
Madison, I would have thought they would be happy. His mom
said she would help out in anyway, but I haven't talked to
them since. I found out about a week later that he was
seeing someone else and had completely denied that he was
having a baby. That hurt me tremendouly, but I think
despite our feelings toward each other, she should still
know him.