Life of a rockstar....NOT!
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2002-01-12 02:17:56 (UTC)


Hey all...woah mood change went from
the funnest day, to the worst day, and now to just a day
that was completely BLAH, i love becca and kjo....they are
the best thing that has happened to me this whole year,
well this school year, lol this year has only been like a
week, lol, I mean, we are all like going through exactly
the same thing, and just helping each other get through the
days. But ya, today, I really screwed up, I guess it is
just something that will help me to realize that me and
zack are just going to be friends, at least for a really
long time....but I made a really big mistake, and then some
other things got mixed up and it just all blew up in my
face. I just need to keep my mouth shut, because everything
I say gets turned around and misinterpreted. Me and zack's
sister, Katie, were talking, and all the sudden she was
like zack's talking on the phone to natalie(another girl
that he likes), and then we just starting talking about her
(HUGE MISTAKE!!!), and katie was like ya shes a big slut
and stuff like that, and I was just like, ya that's prolly
the reason he's talking to her(BIGGER MISTAKE!!!), but I
mean, I don't know, well Zack found out that I said that,
and now he is super pissed at me, which is just great, so I
guess that I just need to get over the fact that we are
going to go back out, which I guess is probably for the
better. I am going back to my old theory, which is, don't
kiss a guy until you have been going out like at least a
week or two, because it just messes things up, if I take
things slow, then they last a whole heck of a lot longer,
because after I kiss someone I get attached, and then I
start to stress about it all. No more guys for awhile, I am
just going to stay away from the whole guy world. because I
know for one thing if I went out with someone right now,
when I am still attached to zack, it just wouldnt work out,
so I need to wait til I'm completely over him, well not
completely cuz that might be never....then julianne started
gettin mad at me again today, im really sick of it, so ima
just stay clear of her for awhile and wait for her to call
me to do something........but yah, i'm trying really hard
to get over all of my stuff with the whole depression
thing, but I seriously don't know if I can because I
seriously think that I have one of those chemical
imbalances, I'm just too scared to tell anyone cuz I don't
want them to think I'm some kind of freak...but all I know
is that helps a lot to know that there are people who are
there for me, like becca and kjo and gina....they are all
stickin with me really good, but for now, im off like a
prom dress, ima think about some things, i might write more
lata on..

Love ya'll and Godbless

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