writings on the wall
2002-01-11 15:16:05 (UTC)

life is boring!

this morning i woke up around 11-something. the
weather was cooling and i felt like going back to sleep
again but my body just doesn't allow it. so i took my bath
and went for brunch. got online again until 3.30pm.

met Keane (my phone sex buddy) online. he told me
that lately he hasn't been eager to have sex with his gf.
i was wondering why the hell is he telling me all this? i
remembered a few days ago he was describing to me how his
gf enjoys anal sex and now he's telling me that maybe he's
gf is not that horny. what kinda stupid mind games is he
playing? first he says that he wants to have sex with me
and i was like all geared up, then in the last minute he
told me that he couldn't make himself to do it, whatever.

sometimes i wonder how it feels like to have a
r'ship with a guy who already has a gf, sex-only, love,
whatever. i think it's kinda interesting to know that you
are a third party and if the gf finds out, then you are in
deep shit. so keane rejected my sexual advances, should i
try fucking Chris instead? i still haven't make up my mind
yet and i am too bored in this fucking place, i'll do
anything to add some colour in my life, seriously.

i was sitting there contemplating how it will feel
like to commit suicide. i think i am really, really bored.
i cried like hell while i was watching this soap opera and
when i thought of Stanley (my ex), i cried even harder.
what the hell is wrong with me???