some guy

Who Cares?
2002-01-11 10:27:05 (UTC)

To drive or not to drive?

I wanna buy a car. I've seen one I like at the garage round
the corner. It's big n shiney. It's like my old car but
shinier. I loved having a car. The fact you can just get in
it and piss off anywhere you like. I used to do that. When
everyone was pissing me off and I felt like I was going to
explode I could jump in my car and get the hell outta
there. Stick a CD on REAL loud and race round the
countryside for a while.
So I have the cash, I can just about afford the insurance
(fucking insurance companies), and I've got nothing better
to do. So why don't I just go any get it? Hmmm, I wonder
what she'd say. Prolly think I'm an idiot (as usual) but
wouldn't say it. She wouldn't show any excitement (she's
physically unable to I believe) and wouldn't be happy for
me. She'd see it as another reason to be bitter, no doubt.
I feel like that's all there is to her at the moment -
bitterness. It seems like no matter what I do she's never
truely happy. She got moody with me last night for going
out at the weekend. She said the friend I'm going to visit
told her to go fuck herself. I said I'd talk to him about
it and she told me not to, and that she didn't want to get
in the way or cause any trouble. Where does she think my
loyalties lie for fucks sake? So I asked. She didn't answer
for a while then just said "What do you mean?". Fuck me, a
simple fucking question. I guess we all know what she's
thinking.
Anyway, maybe I will go and get this car. I wonder if the
place takes credit card cos that's all I got at the
moment. I wonder if they'll do me finance? Even better as I
got my one CC bill through today and im about 40 quid off
maxing it out. Not enough to buy a car, shit. Have to
resort to CC#2. Shouldn't be a problem, got lotsa cash in
that one. Plus another grand to put in the account. Maybe I
should wait for that? Or is that just an excuse. If I
bought it now I could journey at the weekend in comfort
rather than the shitty little tin box car I am borrowing
(you ungrateful shit, you).

Side note: It's our anniversay today. two years. Wow. I got
her a very nice necklace and a little clay cat (she likes
cats). She seemed wholey unimpressed (back to physical
restrictions I guess). She didn't get me anything. She said
it just hadnt arrived yet. Funny, my birthday present
arrived nearly a week after my birthday too (not that I'm
into that whole material shit, man. They're, like, evil and
clog your aura n shit, man). Oh well. Think I might go buy
a car.

Later