noctisplendor

emotional masochist.

i'm talking to bob. he's asking me questions about our
relationship. i'm finding things out i never really wanted
to know. well, yes i did. i asked the questions. i bring
this upon myself. YEHAH. wow. alot of that relationship
should have never happened. but it did. and we looked
like a happy couple. but, we weren't, and hadn't been for
along time. he was suspicious of my actions from damn near
the beginning. but we dated for along time after that. i
grew up in a world where if you didn't acknowledge it, it
wasn't there. and thats how alot of things in my life go.
i don't know any other way. i'm working on it. but its
going to take time to reverse everything i learned at
home.

i still love bob.

i'm not nearly as bitter as i was before, but i'm still a
little bitter.