One fucked up Life

i'm ok

I'm blazed. I just smoked 3 bowls to my head....i'm
feeling good now...nothing is bothering me!!! happiness! I
just talked to Chris...i dont know if i told you this, but
I broke up with chris about a week ago....he is an awesome
boyfriend i couldnt ask for a better one...but i dont know
what my problem is....i just dumped him...its like i get
scared...hes a marine....and he quit the marines to be with
me for the rest of his life....i feel bad, but he shouldnt
of done that...he didnt tell me he quit until after i broke
up with him..hes trying to get me back...but i cant go out
with him, its like i dont want a boyfriend becuz i'm afraid
i'll fuck there life up like mine....i love chris to much
to let him turn his life into hell with me...he also might
get locked up becuz of what happened with the bricks
through kaitlins window....he has prior fellonies on him so
he could get locked up...i dont have any fellonies before
that one...so i'll prolly just get probation...but i dont
want him to get locked up...my friend nick just got locked
up for stealing his fathers car and crashing it...not oly
that but having weed on him and coke. and also crashing
his step mothers car....i'm so glad i never crashed my dads
van when i used to steal it....it was funny, one time when
i used to live with him...he told me he was taking a nap
and to wake him up at 1:00 and i said ok...so right when he
fell asleep, i took the van, and went and blazed with my
friends....then i came back at 1:00 and woke him up...he
never knew...thats was the only time i took it during the
day,,,,,but ive taken it so many times at night....just
sneak out and take the van....my dad has a disease, from
drinking...not sure what its called, but it left him deaf
in one ear...so he cant hear for shit..especially when hes
sleeping...so it was cool...he never heard me start the
damn thing.....o well....i think i'm going to find some
pills to snort....i'll write more in awhile and tell you
how my search goes. ta ta