katatina

threesome thoughts

jeb has been asleep since 6:45. it is now 9:00. it's ok
though. i know he's exhausted. he hasn't gotten much sleep
the past few days. he was pretty rude to me though when all
i tried to do was get him to turn upright so he could sleep
like a human. i guess he was just half asleep.

anyway..i've been thinking about the whole chick thing some
more. i don't want him to worry that i'm not satisfied with
him b/c i am very satisfied with him. i know the more i
talk about it and write about it the more jeb thinks i'm not
satisfied with him. i am. i would like to have a
threesome, but that doesn't mean i'm not satisfied with him.
i really would like that. i think about that all the time.
i was thinking that it would have to just happen you
know..like last time, but i am perfectly ok with planning it
out first. i wish i knew someone who was willing and who i
wanted to do stuff with and that jeb wanted to do stuff
with. if danielle wasn't with bob..i would be all over
that. i know that sounds bas, but i don't care. i enjoyed
myself that night. feeling her hands on my body, feeling
her body, kissing her, being kissed. i don't care. i know
that it was all just a dare and stuff, but i guess it was a
little oppirtunity to get out some of my built up chick
desires. b/c they are there. of course i want jeb to be
there. i would never want to do anything unless jeb was
there, no matter what i dream or write or anything. i know
he's gonna read this and get freaked out. i love him very
much and i am very attracted to him and i am very satisfied
with him. i don't want him to think that i'm not. i do
think about chicks, but it's not like i'd ever do anything
to jeopardize what we have together. he knows that. oh,
gosh, i love him. he means everything to me. i dream about
chicks and stuff, but i only want to do things when i'm with
him. i play around with him and tell him that damielle
tried to hold my hand and stuff. of course she didn't try
to hold my hand. she just brushed my hand lightly and i'm
all like..yea danielle tried to hold my hand. i just like
to get under his skin. he knows i'm joking. sometimes he
does get kinda weird about it though. he says that these
desires or whatever it is i have scare him b/c if i
fantasized about men then he could fulfill that, but a woman
he can't. but he doesn't understand that i am completely
satisfied with him. i wish he would get that. i guess i
maybe shouldn't say stuff as much as i do. i so think about
it a lot thought. it's not like i can help it or anything.
that's just the way i feel, you know. if i could help
it..of course i would stop thinking about it. it drives me
crazy sometimes. i want that. i don't know how to explain
it. i am very satisfied with him, but i still think about
chicks. geeze..i don't want jeb to read this and think i'm
not happy or satisfied with him b/c i am very satisfied with
him. i love him. so much. we're having a child and
getting married. i just want him to know that i have never
been happier than i am with him. these thoughts are just
that, thoughts and dreams. it's not like i'd ever act on
him. well actually..if jeb was up to it..i would definately
be up to it. yea i want that a lot. but not as much as i
want to be with jeb.