megan

still

STILL
in these times that i seem weak and tired and used
keep telling yourself that you did not abuse
keep lying to me to make it your truth
and completely destroy your muse

i'll remember you forever
i'll never let you go
you can try and say the same goes for me
you never had ahold of me though

there are so many things you just don't want to see
and so many more you refuse to perceive
and through these things you will succeed
in completely destroying me

so thanks so much for not caring
for always leaving my side
for not holding me close and then turning away
when the tears formed in my eyes

to all:
this probably doesn't pertain to you. i don't know exactly
who i wrote this for. my close friends need not pay it any
heed. why am i stressed out? i really don't know...if i
want to know...if i want you to know...if i want to say.

here's the thing...once i say something, it's real. if i
say i'm not ok with my disease still then i know i'm not.
if i don't say i'm very insecure about myself, then i can
pretend that everything's ok.

still...i don't know everything that's wrong. and i know
you want to help. i need you all. i love you all. thanks
to those who've been there and questioned. who truly
care. it's needed and appreciated, and i hope i'm as good
a friend to you as you have been to me.

final thought: it's been awhile, since i could, hold my
head up high