ViOLeNtLy STaTeD

If I Told U, Would U Hate Me
2002-01-10 11:46:50 (UTC)

Only In My Dreams

Last night..while i was steady sleepin I'm glad I was...I
fell asleep around about maybe 9 or 10 and i went into a
deep sleep like literally dead to the world and i was glad
too because I had a dream about RAY and I and it was so
cool...We just went for a walk and talked about how things
are going for me...In my dream Ray told me that I was
strong enough to quit old habits on my own and that rehab
wouldn't be the best thing for me...he told me that I could
do it on my own and rehab but just be a rimnder of the past
and would cause me to relay back into it...he also told me
to be careful of my friends and pnly keep the good
influences around me...he told me to keep focused on school
so that i may go on to better things in the future...he
told me that i shouldn't care so much about my old friends
in a sense that they aren't too worried about me right
now...actually they don't even really remember me...he said
that I'm gone and they never really cared that I left Vegas
in the first place...Ray and I walked the entire dream and
he helped me to figure out some things I've been confused
about lately and it was just so nice to have a visit from
him and especially since it's the right time for guidance
and I couldn't get a hold of my brother...I really miss him
and Ray told me that I'm always in my brothers thoughts and
prayers so that I was glad about also...Ray told me not to
jump into any relationships right now because he knows how
I am about being lonely but he said that right now isn't
the time for it...He also told me that as far as being me
goes...to be myself no matter what and to trust my better
judgement...as we walked Ray held my hand like he used to
when he was still here and after that he said that he is
always watching over me and protecting me so not to worry
and then i woke up with a new refreshed feeling this
morning...I'm so glad that he visited me...I've seriously
been thinking about him so much lately...It's so weird how
he came to me in my dreams at the exact moment i needed him
though...I'm so glad I got to talk with him...it's like
he's still alive to me ya know because i never really
accepted the fact that he was gone...i just saw it as he
wasnt kickin it anymore...now i know thatmy life will be
okay from here on out and i WILL survive in New Albany,
Indiana from now until one day I leave...
Im out got school
-Dee


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