Self harming dyke
Ad 2:
2002-01-10 11:37:13 (UTC)


Mood: Yo-yo
Music: none
Cuts: None yesterday. I don't know why not, think I was too

I didn't get to sleep all that early in the end, but I lay
in bed trying to sleep from 10pm. I actually went to bed
when I got home at 5.30pm and didn't do anything all
evening. I really have to do something about all this, it's
not good. I want to be sociable, but am too knackered. I
keep thinking about the doctor still, sad cow that I am. I
can guarantee that she has not wasted a second thinking
about me.

I have just been to a trilogue in the European Council,
which is always quite fun. It is good just to be doing
something and not merely sitting at my desk staring at a
piece of paper. I am now wasting a few minutes until
lunchtime, then I will try to do some work this pm.

I still feel really mixed up. I wish that I could sort out
the crap inside. I had a long think while I couldn't sleep
last night and came to the conclusion that I have to do
something about it or it will only get worse. I *will* find
a doctor who I trust here (and one I don't fancy) and
explain a bit. Ross said he knew someone who was very good.
Maybe I'll see if I can find out about getting an

I am going to get a coffee now.